his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
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