Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
