So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize