Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Found the puke drawer
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
