My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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