threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
