So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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