tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
