Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
