my vag is so smooth its legendary
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
