I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My ass is underappreciated
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
