Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
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I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
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Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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