I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
