dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
