I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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