well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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