currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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