Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
