Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
