I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
