i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
