im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
