You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
