last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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