Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
