I hope mine doesn't look like that
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
