As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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