Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize