Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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