he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
