brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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