Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
