you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize