Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
