They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
