Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
