dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize