If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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