i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
