I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
