Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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