I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Actions speak louder than pants.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
