There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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