bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
All I want is dick and wine.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
