We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
