wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
