Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
