I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
