Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
