so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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