Duck Duck Cougar?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
