I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
