I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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