can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
