The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
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and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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