Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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