I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
