I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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