Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
