Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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