Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
