I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
