beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
