hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
